WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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