there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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