suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
