You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
