Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was confusing and full of hummus
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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