How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
