Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize