you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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