hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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