This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
