dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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