Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Swine flu. Run for my life!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
