I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
