We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
