What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
