Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
