yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
