Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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