You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
