He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
it glows. i had to have it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
