so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
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Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her