I showed him my bush... on skype.
i only shaved half my leg
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.