...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.