The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner