I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
