So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize