There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
