You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
