I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
