so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
