gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
