Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
