he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
