doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
