You work out of a Hotel?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
In America we eat man semen.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
