It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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