you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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