I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
