Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize