You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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