Are we in a gay sports bar?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
