I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
