Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
