I love black thongs
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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