4 words: hood of his car
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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