2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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