This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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