Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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