i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Me too!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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