I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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