never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
