where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
