Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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