I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
