I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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