I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize