does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
