he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
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Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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