I accidentally burped into my bong.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
