K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
