doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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