In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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