yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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