Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
