GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
